Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she looked like the before picture.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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