You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
