Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
