$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
