i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
