p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
