so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
