Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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