I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Vodka?
Forever.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
and you fell through a lawn chair
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
