Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.

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(207): View more from Maine

I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..

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(701): View more from North Dakota

how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?

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(260): View more from Indiana

How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?

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(310): View more from California

Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on

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(719): View more from Colorado

He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.

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