I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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