I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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