I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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