end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You took a bar mat shot.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
