Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
this is an emotional support booty call
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
