I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
