Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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