I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
