I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
