I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
