I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize