her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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