Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
third nipple confirmed
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize