ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
