I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
