haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Randomize
