I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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