I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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