I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
