U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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