I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
