one two three fourrrrnication!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
