direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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