Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
