i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
