i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
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