Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
