just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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