I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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