I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
