no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
