I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
