Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
