i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
