I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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