so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
