we have officially lost it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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