Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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