I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
