I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
