chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
