i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
