Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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