Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
