when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
