she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
