She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
