boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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