I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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